I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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