Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
