my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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