i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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