Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm like, not good at living.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize