Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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