the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not ubering you a puppy
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize