sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
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