Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
