office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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