He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
