yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Walk of Shame today included voting.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
