mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
