are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
