I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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