so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
