Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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