So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
