Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
