he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
