Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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