I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I forgot how hot balto sounded
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
