I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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