Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
