Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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