Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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