drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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