Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
