You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
