glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
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Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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