alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize