It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
