EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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