They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
