not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
