never play flip cup with pint glasses
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize