I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
