Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
