We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
