Fine. I'll sleep in my office
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
