Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
