if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
