And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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