I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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