I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
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