Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
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I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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