I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Fuck appropriateness.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
