So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
