i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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