I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize