Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize