This is not my ceiling
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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