and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
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Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
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Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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