Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."

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(305): View more from Florida

I just saw a hot homeless man

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot

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(734): View more from Michigan

I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...

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(951): View more from California

Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.

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(469): View more from Texas

I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.

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(850): View more from Florida

I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much

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(907): View more from Alaska

Just puked most of my soul out..

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