i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I will pee on everything he values.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
