Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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