She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
