ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
