found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
