Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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