3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
