omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
