I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
