Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
